Though less well known for romancing women than blocking them on X/Twitter, in recent months Jolyon Maugham, founder and Director of the (Not Very) Good Law Project, has developed a bit of a pash for Labour’s shadow chancellor, Rachel Reeves. And the seed of this surprising dalliance was the latter’s pledge, late last year, that a Labour government would appoint a Covid Corruption Commissioner to recover “billions” of pounds from those who “profited from the carnival of waste during the pandemic”.

As bad as it was for taxpayers, that ‘carnival of waste’ was effectively a small business grant to the GLP, which between early 2020 and early 2022 raised £2.5 million from 18 Covid-related crowdfunders, and another £6 million or so in direct donations. And, apart from a massive explosion in the number of GLP staff, and the acquisition of a swanky office, nothing much was achieved with those millions. So it’s fair to say that Jolyon does know quite a bit about profiting from the pandemic. Indeed, some of his admirers think he is just the man for the Covid Corruption Commissioner job:

It’s unclear whether Jolyon would love to see Jolyon get given the job, though as far as I can see he hasn’t taken the opportunity to rule himself out. And he’s certainly a big fan of the idea. Indeed, with his habitual modesty, he’s even claimed much of the credit for it.

But … what would such a Covid Corruption Commissioner actually do?

In her speech to the Labour Party conference in October 2023, Rachel Reeves said:

We will go after those who profited from the carnival of waste during the pandemic. The cost to the taxpayer of Covid fraud is estimated at £7.2 billion. 

So, I can announce today that we will appoint a Covid Corruption Commissioner, supported by a hit squad of investigators, equipped with the powers they need and the mandate to do whatever it takes. To chase down those who have ripped off the taxpayer, take them to court, and claw back every penny of taxpayer’s money that they can. That money belongs in our NHS. It belongs in our schools. It belongs in our police. 

We want our money back.

Ahead of the speech, the (evidently briefed) political editor of the Guardian reported that:

A Labour government would create a powerful Covid Corruption Commissioner to help recoup billions of pounds of taxpayers’ money that has been lost to waste, fraud and flawed contracts during the pandemic.

The new Commissioner would be given the power to bring together public agencies including HMRC, the Serious Fraud Office and the National Crime Agency to pursue at least £2.6 billion of ‘lost’ public funds. They would examine contracts line by line, and would have to update Parliament on their progress in clawing back money.

And, (approvingly) posting the above Guardian report on X/Twitter, Reeves said: “Labour will appoint a Covid Corruption Commissioner to recover billions lost to waste and fraud.”

However, the announcement – and its lack of detail – immediately prompted a number of questions, such as what the Commissioner would add to the existing organisations and structures, and how much of the “billions lost to waste and fraud” is actually recoverable. Within days, Professor Martin McKee noted in the BMJ:

The National Economic Crime Centre, created in 2018, already provides a mechanism for [HMRC, the Serious Fraud Office and the National Crime Agency] to collaborate, along with the City of London Police, the Home Office, and the Financial Conduct Authority. It is difficult to see why a new structure is needed.

[As for] how much of the ‘wasted’ money will be recoverable, this is far from clear. Some companies that have attracted attention operate overseas, beyond the UK’s jurisdiction, [while] others have gone into liquidation.

Nevertheless, by mid-December, Rachel Reeves was quite specific when stating how much money could be recovered by the Commissioner and their “hit squad” of investigators:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the incoming Labour government is going to be, well, a bit strapped for cash. So even just some of that £15.9 billion would come in handy. But powerful Commissioners with a “hit squad of investigators” don’t come cheap. Or easy. First, there would need to be primary legislation, to create the post and those powerful powers. Then there would need to be an office building – or space in someone else’s building – and recruitment of the “hit squad” with which to fill it. And only then could the recouping of that £15.9 billion begin.

There is no evidence that anyone in the Labour Party has given much thought to these and other implementation issues – in late 2023 and early 2024, shadow cabinet ministers such as Wes Streeting, Ellie Reeves and Darren Jones continued to repeat the pledge, without adding any detail. And the Party’s manifesto for the 4 July General Election, published on 13 June, simply states, somewhat cryptically:

We will appoint a fixed-term Covid Corruption Commissioner and use every means possible to recoup public money lost in pandemic-related fraud and from contracts which have not delivered. 

Which is the kind of shit I’d have written if I’d been tasked with drafting Labour’s manifesto. (I once helped draft a general election manifesto, so I know how and why so much shit that started out as little more than a clap line in a conference speech makes it through to the glossy pages of a manifesto.) And it seems significant that the manifesto’s meticulously constructed fiscal plan, showing how Labour’s various policy pledges will be funded, does not even mention the proposed Commissioner, let alone set out an estimate of how much ‘wasted’ money he or she might recover.

Which is odd, because, including even just a fraction of the £15.9 billion that Rachel Reeves confidently spelled out in December – a figure she has recently upped to £17 billion in an election campaign video – in the fiscal plan might have allowed for a manifesto pledge to, for example, abolish the two-child benefit cap – the absence of which disappointed many Labour supporters. As the Independent was quick to note:

The omission of any forecast funds to be raised by the Covid [Corruption] Commissioner appears to be a tacit admission the Party cannot be sure the [move] will have any impact at all.

And what does “fixed-term” mean? Six months? A year? Five years? Ten? Taking people to court to extract significant sums from their bank account can take a very long time. Especially if they are wealthy people, with expensive lawyers and many bank accounts, some of them in tax havens. As you may have noticed, very few such people have been taken to court for pandemic-related fraud in the four years since 2020. And not many pounds have been “clawed back” from them. Identifying waste and “failed and overpriced contracts” is relatively easy. Actually recovering the money is a lot harder.

But maybe this will magically change when Rachel Reeves becomes Chancellor of the Exchequer. Everyone at the National Economic Crime Centre will be recalled from the gardening leave they have presumably all been on since 2020, and their new Overlord – the Covid Corruption Commissioner – will personally despatch police vans at dawn to the homes of Boris Johnson, Matt Hancock, Dominic Cummings and Michael Gove. Why bother with costly and time-consuming legal process when you can just fill your tank with four-star hatred of the Tories?

Or maybe the insertion of “fixed term” into the manifesto pledge is just a staging post on the journey to its (arguably inevitable) binning, once the political business of winning the general election is out of the way.

Which would break Jolyon’s heart. Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

Update, 6 July: There is still no news on whether Jolyon would love to see Jolyon get given the job, but in an email sent to the GLP’s mailing list at 7:30 am yesterday (also posted as a blog), Jolyon says: “We will support the Covid Corruption Commissioner, making sure they benefit from our enormous database of evidence”.

There is no explanation of why Jolyon and the GLP have not already shared this “enormous database of evidence” of “illegal VIP corruption” with the various crime agencies dealing with, er, corruption, namely the National Economic Crime Centre, HMRC, the Serious Fraud Office and the National Crime Agency. Which is odd, because you’d think Jolyon and the GLP would have wanted those agencies to benefit from such evidence of “illegal VIP corruption” at the earliest possible opportunity.

In contrast to Jolyon, his good mate Carol Vorderman has revealed she would love to see Carol Vorderman get given the Covid Corruption Commissioner job. Sadly, however, Carol doubts she has the expertise. And she is silent on whether Jolyon has the expertise.

Again, there is no explanation of why Carol and the GLP are waiting to give their evidence of “illegal VIP corruption” to the Covid Corruption Commissioner at some point in the future, rather than giving it to the National Economic Crime Centre, HMRC, the Serious Fraud Office and/or the National Crime Agency now (or, indeed, before now).

Because what if Rachel Reeves doesn’t create a Covid Corruption Commissioner with powerful powers?

Update, 18 July: So, not only was there no Bill to create the Covid Corruption Commissioner and his or her ‘powerful powers’ in yesterday’s King’s Speech setting out the new Labour government’s legislative programme for the next 12 months, but there was no mention of a Covid Corruption Commissioner in either the Speech or the Government’s background briefing notes.

This appears to have come as something of a surprise to poor Jolyon, who took a short break from his six-day X/Twitter rant about Wes Streeting and puberty blockers to express his bafflement in a three-post thread:

“It is a bit odd that the Covid Corruption Commissioner is missing from the King’s Speech”, Detective Constable Maugham of Scotland Yard muses, as “[Rachel Reeves’ October 2023 conference speech] suggests the role would require legislation”. Well spotted, Detective Constable!

Furthermore, “the Speech introduces another Commissioner [a statutory Armed Forces Commissioner] which will require legislation”. And “the Briefing Notes make mention of legislation to strengthen the powers of the Victims’ Commissioner, but they make no mention of a Covid Corruption Commissioner”. No shit, Sherlock!

From which I can only conclude that Jolyon has not (yet) read this blog post. But then, in a further post on X/Twitter, seemingly added as an afterthought, Jolyon almost gets there:

It would be an odd thing for Labour not to deliver on its manifesto promise – it is in its and the public interest to have transparency and accountability.

The manifesto doesn’t promise immediate action – but why would you delay as the evidence gets more stale? All very odd.

Why indeed would you delay, as the evidence gets more stale? Poor Jolyon is so close to working it out. Bless.

Of course, it could be that Rachel Reeves is saving up an announcement for her first Budget, expected to be held in the Autumn. But with Jolyon escalating his frankly unhinged attack on Health Secretary Wes Streeting, it is increasingly hard to imagine Keir Starmer or Rachel Reeves finding any kind of role for Jolyon in their government (or in the House of Lords).

Update, 22 July: Yesterday, Jolyon Maugham kindly let the World know that he is going to spend the next two weeks walking in the mountains, without access to X/Twitter. And today, Rachel Reeves announced in the House of Commons that she is “beginning the process to appoint a Covid Corruption Commissioner”. Coincidence? Probably.

The Guardian reports that Reeves is “understood to believe the Treasury can recoup £2.6 billion from waste, fraud and flawed contracts signed during the pandemic”, and will appoint a Commissioner “within weeks”. However, there is no mention of ‘powerful powers’, or any hit squad of investigators.

It’s unclear whether this news reached Jolyon in the mountains, but the Good Law Project said on X/Twitter: “This is very good news and we’re looking forward to working with the new Commissioner and sharing the trove of intel we have”. And Carol Vorderman said on X/Twitter she is “so happy”.

What the new Commissioner will actually do with that ‘trove of intel’, other than write and deliver a report to the Chancellor, also remains unclear, but on 25 July the junior Cabinet Office minister, Georgie Gould, told MPs that “the Public Sector Fraud Authority is already working closely with the Treasury on the role of the counter-fraud commissioner [sic], and will continue to do so”. The Public Sector Fraud Authority was created in August 2022 as a “partnership” between HM Treasury and the Cabinet Office to “transform how departments and public bodies deal with fraud against the public sector”. According to its most recent annual report, it is currently “building a civil and criminal enforcement unit to take action on cases of fraud in the public sector”. Which makes it sound like the obvious place to base the promised Covid Corruption Commissioner while they write their report to the Chancellor.

Update, 30 July: Yesterday, during her statement to the House of Commons on public finances, Rachel Reeves reiterated her intention to “appoint a Covid Corruption Commissioner to bring back money that is owed to taxpayers after contracts worth billions of pounds were handed out by the previous Government during the pandemic.”

And it’s becoming clear that whoever is unlucky enough to be appointed by Reeves is going to have a £2.6 billion target painted on their back, against which their performance will be measured. This morning, the GLP switched from ‘We ❤️ Rachel’ mode to warning, somewhat menacingly, that they intend to hold her to her promise:

More news on the recouping of that £2.6 billion as we get it.

Update, 3 September: Today, the Treasury launched an ‘open competition’ recruitment exercise for a Covid Counter-Fraud Commissioner. The appointment is for just 12 months, and the Commissioner will be supported only by “a small team of Treasury civil servants”. So, no special powers, no “hit squad of investigators”, and no taking former ministers to court. It turns out those Conservative MPs could quit Parliament and flee the mess they made, because they have absolutely nothing to fear from Labour’s technocratic Covid Counter-Fraud Commissioner. New blog post here.