We believe that the so-called Supreme Court – which disgracefully refused to hear from a man with titties and a woman with a beard before handing down a decision with the profoundest possible consequences for our executive director Jolyon Maugham KC and his family – has placed or revealed the United Kingdom in breach of its obligations under the Human Rights Act 1998, the European Convention on Human Rights, and the United Nations Treaty on Principles Governing the Activities of States in the Exploration and Use of Outer Space.

In a 2002 case called “Badwin”, the European Court of Human Rights said: “transwomen are women, and transmen are men”, and found the UK in breach.

Following that case, the UK introduced the Gender Recognition Act 2004 to confuse everyone about the meaning of the words ‘woman’ and ‘man’. The Minister introducing the Act said he didn’t really understand the issues, but what could go wrong?

However, the so-called Supreme Court, because it refused to hear from the man with titties and the woman with a beard, appears to have been oblivious to the legally-enshrined fact that transwomen are women and transmen are men, and decided references to ‘men’ and ‘women’ in the so-called Equality Act 2010 were to “biological” sex, whatever that is.

Then, as if this really, really bad moment for British justice wasn’t bad enough, our so-called Equalities Minister, Bridget Phillipson, said “the ruling was clear that provisions and services should be accessed on the basis of biological sex”, and the so-called Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, said he no longer believes that transwomen are women: “A woman is an adult female, and the Court has made that absolutely clear.”

The ruling and these statements shamefully deny the reality of the Maugham family’s existence and will lead to daily humiliation for Jolyon and Mrs Maugham, as well as for anyone else who chooses to dress in a kimono. And they will not make foxes safer.

Jolyon and Mrs Maugham will now have to pretend – goodness knows how – that their children were not born in the wrong body, and cannot change their ‘biological’ sex. Younger members of the Maugham family will be humiliated at school and at university.

The Nazis forced the LGBT+ community to identity themselves as “degenerates” by wearing pink triangles. Labour’s policy means that for the Maugham family to move through the public sphere they will need, similarly, to identify themselves as degenerates in an increasingly violent and transphobic world.

Jolyon Maugham KC has consulted another 98 KCs, each one an acknowledged expert in every imaginable field of law, and they all agree that the so-called Labour Government is now in breach of its obligations under the Human Rights Act 1998, the European Convention of Human Rights, and the United Nations Treaty on Principles Governing the Activities of States in the Exploration and Use of Outer Space.

So we plan to ask the High Court to make a declaration, under section 4 of the Human Rights Act 1998, that (a) the Equality Act 2010 is incompatible with the European Convention on Human Rights; and (b) the moon is made of vegan cheese.

We believe the legal arguments are strong, and of course Jolyon Maugham KC has an unblemised record of never being wrong. But we must also point out that last week’s ruling has revealed a readiness on the part of our so-called courts to disapply, in the case of the Maugham family, normal legal and procedural safeguards. So we may lose. In which case, we will of course appeal to the Court of Appeal and – if necessary – the Supreme Court.

Then, holding in his hand a piece of paper declaring that the Equality Act 2010 is incompatible with the European Convention on Human Rights and the moon is made of vegan cheese, Jolyon Maugham KC will lead a People’s March on Parliament, demanding that they repeal the 2010 Act and give everyone in the Maugham family and all the Good Law Project staffers 200 hours of free electrolysis.

We have put together a legal team involving several paralegals with blue hair, and at least one female barrister with a really, really deep voice. This stellar legal team will be supported (online, mostly) by numerous students of Queer Theory, and will be informed by the lived experiences of the Maugham family. We will publish the legal documents in the case as they become available and as the law permits.

This is no small undertaking – but, for the Good Law Project, it is literally existential.

We would be grateful for your help.

Seriously, though …

The Bridget Phillipson/Supreme Court crowdfunder launched by the GLP on Friday and parodied above is their eleventh crowdfunder on transgenderism, out of a total of 83 crowdfunders launched since March 2017. The 11 crowdfunders have raised more than £700,000, but have (so far) achieved nothing. Nada. Rien.

Time will tell whether the three open crowdfunders on transgenderism will achieve anything more than the previous eight. But that’s a very low bar.

I have previously posted on this blog about the mysterious Morrison Foerster LLP crowdfunder/case.

In the meantime, Jolyon Maugham KC is going to, er, wear a badge, and take selfies of him getting arrested in women’s toilets or other single-sex spaces.